A Successful Marriage....

A Sucessful Marriage: The Missing Link – by Yasmin Mogahed

“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)

We’ve all read this verse on countless marriage announcements. But how many have actualized it? How many of our marriages really embody that love and mercy described by Allah? What is going wrong when so many of our marriages are ending in divorce?
According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, the answer is simple.

In his book, Eggerichs explains that extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love. He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”—the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving.

Eggerichs argues that the solution to the “crazy cycle” is for the wife to show unconditional respect to her husband and for the husband to show unconditional love to his wife. This means that a wife should not say that first her husband must be loving before she will show him respect. By doing so, she will only bring about more unloving behavior. And a husband should not say that first his wife must be respectful before he will show her love. By doing so, he will only bring about more disrespectful behavior. The two must be unconditional.

When I reflected on this concept, I realized that looking at the Quran and prophetic wisdom, there are no two concepts more stressed with regards to the marital relationship.

To men, the Prophet said, “Take good care of women, for they were created from a bent rib, and the most curved part of it is its top; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain arched, so take good care of women.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

He has further stressed: “The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

Allah says: “Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” [Qur'an: 4:19]

The prophet has also said, “A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)
In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to even overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.

On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands? Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Quran and sunnah, with regards to wives.

Respect can be manifest in a number of ways. One of the most important ways to show respect is the respect of one’s wishes. When someone says, “I respect your advice”, they mean “I will follow your advice”. Respecting a leader, means doing what they say. Respecting our parents means not going against their wishes. And respecting one’s husband means respecting his wishes. The Prophet has said: “When any woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband, it is said to her: Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish.” [At-Tirmidhi]

Why are we as women told to respect and follow the wishes of our husbands? It is because men are given an extra degree of responsibility. Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means . . .” (Qur’an 4:34)

But won’t this unconditional respect towards one’s husband put us, as women, in a weak, submissive position? Won’t we set ourselves up to be taken advantage of and abused? Quite the contrary. The Quran, the prophetic example, and even contemporary research have proven the exact opposite. The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love and kindness he will show her. And in fact, the more disrespect she shows, the more harsh and unloving he becomes.

Similarly, a man may question why he should show kindness and love towards even a disrespectful wife. To answer this question, one only needs to look at the example of Omar Ibn ul-Khattab. When a man came to Omar (who was Khalifah at the time) to complain of his wife, he heard Omar’s own wife yelling at him. While the man turned to leave, Omar called him back. The man told Omar that he had come to complain of the same problem that Omar himself had. To this Omar replied that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she did all of this for him, how could he not tolerate her when she raised her voice?

This story provides a beautiful example for all of us—not only for the men. This story is a priceless illustration of tolerance and patience, which is essential for any successful marriage. Moreover, consider the reward in the hereafter for those who show patience: Allah says, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure).” (Qur’an 39:10)
This article originally appeared in InFocus

Pearls of Wisdom....187

1. Da'wa should start at the point of harmony, not at the point of dissonance.

2. Who is a Shaykh? The one recognizes that his life will soon be over.

3. A busy life makes the prayer harder, but the prayer makes a busy life easy.

4. Your reach towards Him is tiny, His reach towards you has no limits.

5. The alternative to pride is prayer.

6. The truly taken rukhsas make you grow a little; the falsely taken rukhsas make you shrink rapidly.

7. Yielding to a minor sin can be a major sin.

8. We have too many things and too little gratitude.

9. Dignity comes from respecting tradition, not from respecting oneself.

10. Fear of God is knowledge enough. To be pleased with one's knowledge is ignorance enough. [Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1148

Ayahs of the Day:
Believers, be conscious of God and believe in the messenger of God: God gives you a double portion of divine mercy, and provides you light to go by, and forgives you. For God is forgiving, merciful, so the people of scripture may know that they have no control over anything of God's bounty, and that the bounty is in the hand of God, who bestows on anyone at will; and God is possessor of the greatest bounty. [57: 28,29]

Hadith of the Day:
In every generation of my nation there will be those who outrun all others (in doing good). [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
The sign of good deeds that are precursors of great harm is that when we undertake them, we feel a great sense of elation and pride in what we have done. [Imam Birgivi]

Guidance of the Day:
Each one of us has an opportunity to choose how we will view all the experiences in our lives. We can choose to see our lives and each and every event in our lives as a gift! Imagine what life could be if we were delighted by and appreciative of everything that happens to us, every human encounter, every mood change, and every kind of event that occurs. We would not then judge events or people as good or bad, as pleasant or unpleasant, as wanted or unwanted. We would appreciate all of it.

Imagine how powerful it could be to see the opportunity in a loss, the opportunity to feel deeply, to have known such love or the opportunity to learn to let go, to pick ourselves up and begin life newly, differently than before, or the opportunity to feel compassion for someone else who hurts, too. Imagine taking on life with new vigor or in a new way after an illness or an accident. Imagine choosing to stop suffering NOW! [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Permanence, perseverance, and persistence inspite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities. It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance. Old age is not a matter for sorrow. It is a matter of thanks if we have left our work done behind us.

Pearls of Wisdom....186

1. The road to God is paved with laughter at the self. The road to Hell is paved with the laughter at others.

2. Do not think that anything has any other purpose other than to point to God.

3. Do not say: 'Do you agree with me?' but say: 'Do we agree?'

4. Wisdom consists mainly in the ability to recognize human weakness.

5. God's mercy is not limited; but He is not limited by His mercy.

6. Only those who know themselves to be unworthy are worthy.

7. He who knows himself, knows Islam.

8. Man is the proof of God; the man of God is the proof of religion.

9. Being at ease in the company of scholars is a proof of faith.

10. Love learning, since learning leads to action. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1147

Ayah of the Day:
We have sent Our messengers with clear proofs, and We sent the Book and the Balance with them, that humanity may stand by justice. And We sent iron, in which is violent force and advantages for humanity, that God may know who will help God and God's messengers, though unseen. God is truly powerful, almighty. [57: 25]

Hadith of the Day:
God, Almighty and Majestic is He, says: "Whoever is so busy with the remembrance of Me that he has no time to ask Me (for what he desires) I will give him the best of what I give to those who ask." [Bukhari]

Wise Quote of the Day:
The best of people are those who, after being generous to people, seek generosity only from Allah, and those who, after exemplifying the blessed sunna, seek a lawful means of livelihood. [Abu Hafs Haddad]

Guidance of the Day:
Satisfaction is not necessarily found in our circumstances. It is not what happens in our lives as much as how we perceive what happens and how we live through what happens. How we view our lives and the events that occur is what makes all the difference in the quality that life has for us.

The pessimistic tortures himself, and the optimistic is delighted by and appreciative of the gift he receives. This can be true with each and every moment or event in our lives-------will we appreciate it or be disappointed? [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
We are born subjects, and to obey God is perfect liberty. He that does this shall be free, safe, and happy. To obey God in somethings and not in other shows an unsound heart. Childlike obedience moves toward every command of God, as the needle points where the load stone is.

Pearls of Wisdom....185

1. Do not doubt another's salvation until you are certain of your own.

2. Good adab is to jostle to be first in line for Heaven.

3. There is no worship without knowledge----------we have been created to know Him.

4. Islamic democracy----------Sovereignty belongs to God.

5. I am my weakness, You (O' my Lord) are my strength.

6. Which is it, of the blessing of your Lord that you deserve?

7. There is justice and there is just-us.

8. Peace without justice is not peace at all.

9. The hijab is a display of modesty. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1146

Ayahs of the Day:
No calamity occurs on earth, or to yourselves, but is in a decree before We create it. That is easy for God, so that you might not sorrow over what eludes you nor exult over what comes to you; for God loves no one who is pompous and proud, the ones who are stingy and induce people to be greedy; but no matter who turns away, God is the independent one, the one worthy of all praise. [57: 22,23,24]

Hadith of the Day:
Beware of the believer's insight, for he sees by the light of God. [Bukhari]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Rein in your tongue from complaining about others, and you will be granted a life of happiness. [Abu Bakr radi Allah anhu]

Guidance of the Day:
In learning to manage the forces around us, we let go of the wonder of life. We become intent on developing survival skills instead of stopping to appreciate the flowers or to love one another. In our drive for control, we forget pleasure and joy and satisfaction.

Even though we will always wish we could control life, we do not have to be run by these survival tactics. We can choose our responses to life. We can choose to have life be an energizing and provocative challenge that we take on powerfully rather than a series of ordeals of which we are victims. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Anger is only one letter short of danger. Without discipline, there is no life at all. Man who would be man, must rule the empire of himself. He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty. Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.

Pearls of Wisdom....184

1. Religion is only one door, whose name is repentance.

2. Be a good Muslim and you won't want to lie. Be a very good Muslim and you won't need to lie.

3. Govern the self before you govern the other. Govern the other in order to govern the self.

4. The reading of Scripture is sufficient; but we are not sufficient readers.

5. In practice, 'remembering God' can only mean 'remembering the covenant.'

6. Each gender was created that the other might give thanks.

7. The only safe bank is the Sadaqa Bank.

8. Irritation is from sin.

9. The true hearth is gratefulness.

10. Your property belongs to you if you belong to God. If you belong to Satan you belong to your property. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1145

Ayah of the Day:
Race to forgiveness from your Lord, and a garden spacious as heaven and earth, arranged for those who believe in God and the messengers of God. That is the bounty of God, which God bestows on whomever God will; and God is the possessor of the greatest bounty. [57: 21]

Hadith of the Day:
Faith is known experientially by those who are content with God as their Sovereign, with Islam as their religion, and Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) as their messenger. [Bukhari]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Avoid incurring debts; for a debt is a humiliation by day and a grief by night. [Hakeem Luqmam]

Guidance of the Day:
One of the special secrets of having a life that is satisfying and easy is this: appreciate life instead of resisting it. Appreciation is the ability to get outside of our reasons, story, concepts, and beliefs in order to see the beauty, the value, and the preciousness of life. Appreciation is gratitude for life. We fully appreciate life when we can see the wonder of it all.

As children we naturally appreciate and value everything we see. We can be awed by a set of keys, a baby goat, or assorted pots and pans. We delight in all of it. An experience intervenes, we discover hurt, disappointment, and failure. Then we lose our sense of wonder, so our capacity to see and appreciate narrows. Life intrudes until wonderment and openness are virtually replaced by cynicism and resignation. Once our wonderment disappears, we forget that there is anything for which to be thankful. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Keep your distance from bad companions. Life is a gift; embrace it with the temper of nobility. Be on your guard. One is ones own teacher and disciplinarian. Through practice we learn to surrender ourselves. Nothing is impossible when we have faith and we believe in Something beyond ourselves.

Pearls of Wisdom....183

1. If you would like to know God's view of the age, see how the blessings of nature are received.

2. Faith may be measured by the number of verses that softens one's heart.

3. Modernity-----------A way of drowning into nothingness.

4. Failing to pray for faith is a sign of lack of faith.

5. Modernity has not healed our pain, it has only dried our tears.

6. Preferring rida over riba is the choosing of milk over wine.

7. It is the Muslim, not Islam, that cries out to be reformed.

8. Islam is God's effort to give us the easiest possible way of being traditional.

9. It is time to rise from the emotional bath, and recall where we left the libas-al-taqwa.

10. Only when distant from God do we crave what is distant from God. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1144

Ayahs of the Day:
Know that the life of the world is but diversion and distraction, and ostentation and boasting among yourselves, and striving for more and more property and children. It is like rain whose growth pleases the tillers then dies out and you see it turn yellow, and then it crumbles. In the hereafter there is severe agony, and forgiveness from God, and acceptance. So what is the life of the world but the stuff of deception? [57: 20]

Hadith of the Day:
The (Islamic) religion began as a stranger, and will become a stranger again as it was in the beginning, hence, blessed are the strangers.

Wise Quote of the Day:
Without a steady dose of knowledge, wisdom, and the advice from the sages, our hearts will wither away and die. [Fatah Musli]

Guidance of the Day:
Every one of us wants to make our life work, but this often turns into a frustrating project of trying to control the uncontrollable. We think to be in charge of our lives we need to control our world, and then suffer in frustration and perhaps despair.

Life is full of unexpected events, changes, losses, and ordeals beyond our control. We are doomed to suffer if all our attention is on trying to control what is not in our power to control. Instead, we will have so much more power over and satisfaction with our lives if we are open and awake to life's responsibilities. For whatever way we choose to confront it, life is sure to be full of surprises at every turn. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Know that anxiety and restlessness are of no use. Sometimes you should look at the level of hardship you are bearing and appreciate that things could have been worse. For every thing you have missed, you have gained something else.

Pearls of Wisdom....182

1. God gave us the Prophet because He loved what we might become.

2. We are punished because we don't know that we deserve to be punished.

3. Male and female cannot be equal, for they are mutually superior.

4. The breadth of the Garden is reached through the narrow door of humility.

5. Happiness consists in performing good tasks well.

6. Modernity deprives us of the most basic right of all----------the right to be traditional.

7. If you want to excel at your work, consecrate it to God.

8. Be attached to God, not to the fruits of your actions.

9. Despair of the self is the door into religion, despair of God is the door out of it.

10. Faith is not a given, it is given. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

Mothers .........

From Surah al-Rahman are the glorious words of our Creator: "Then which of the favors of your Lord will your deny?"

Yet how often we deny the greatest of favors that the Bestower has granted us. This favor, in the form of a woman......

A woman who carried us within her for almost a whole year of her short life in this world, bearing every hardship and discomfort to protect and nurture our frail being as the Fashioner gently prepared us to come into this worldly realm....

A woman who braved death's door, embracing pain unimaginable to even the most stalwart of warriors, that our tiny form may chance to take its first breath, open its eyes to the light of a new home, and feel her warm, soft caress, as she forgets all that she went through, to make comfortable our awakening into a new world....

A woman who had forsaken rest, slumber, and dreams for far too many nights; to rise instead, and answer the pitiful wail of a helpless creature that always new she would be there to answer its plaintive cry, even as the whole world slumbered on into the dead of the night......

A woman who bore weakness to give forth from her being, a pure and heavenly nectar to nourish our growing bodies and our thirsty souls with sustenance to define our humanity ever onward......

A woman who watered and pruned our character with all the patience and care of a master gardener turning a wild shrub into a beautiful tree.......

A woman who was always there for us, no matter how many backs were turned to us, no matter how many doors closed in our face, to give us a shoulder to cry on, an ear to heed our complaint, a comforting bosom to embrace when there was no other.......

A woman who, even after all of our blunders, all of our impudence, all of our ungrateful gestures and insolent remarks, will not hesitate to say I forgive you when no one else in the world will....

A woman who we call Mother.

If we only knew her lofty station in the sight of He whose mercy is endless, a single portion of which He showered upon the world and it manifested itself as the undying compassion of the mother to her child.

"THEN WHICH OF THE FAVORS OF YOUR LORD DO YOU DENY?"

To deny is to show ingratitude. To show ingratitude is to lose one's blessings......like sand flowing through one's fingers.

To show ingratitude to the all Merciful is to show ingratitude to the means He creates out of His endless mercy. WHAT OF THE MEANS WHICH BROUGHT US INTO THE WORLD?

If one's mother is alive, then cry out of thankfulness to Allah, go to her, sit at her feet, kiss her on the forehead, look her in the eyes and tell her how blessed you are for someone like her......

Tell her how much you love her.....

And never forget the immortal words of our beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace):

"Paradise is under the feet of the mother...."

From a loving son

LESSON OF THE DAY 1143

Ayahs of the Day:
For the men who give charity and women who give charity, advancing a good loan to God, it will be multiplied for them, and they will have a generous reward. And those who believe in God and the messengers of God are the ones who are truly sincere, and the witnesses in the presence of their Lord; they will have their reward, and their light. But those who scoffed and denied Our signs, they will be inmates of blazes. [57: 18,19]

Hadith of the Day:
No one can be given a blessing better and greater than patience. [Bukhari]

Wise Quote of the Day:
The very spirit of servanthood is trusting in God and completely resigning oneself toward God. How repugnant is the servant who has no tranquil resignation! [Ibn Ata'Allah]

Guidance of the Day:
We can commit ourselves to having our lives be great! Promises, tailored to our own needs or interests, can expand our satisfaction, stretch us, and be our personal standard for living successfully. Keeping our commitments supports us to live as the designer instead of the victim of our lives.

Not only can we generate renewed zest for life with promises, but we can also overcome anything that befalls us by committing ourselves to recovering from it. It's a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
I can forgive but I cannot forget, is only one way of saying, "I will not forgive." Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn into two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

Pearls of Wisdom....181

1. Life is a vocation, not a vacation.

2. We are designed to fall on our knees.

3. That there is evil is good, but evil is not good.

4. Not every male superiority is female inferiority.

5. We are Muslims because we practice Islam not vice versa.

6. The ruin of the heart lies in denying the desire for obedience.

7. Tribalism flourishes when Truth is neglected.

8. Engage only in such leisure pursuits as may be offered to God.

9. Rida (contentment with the Divine destiny) is the true freedom.

10. For which is He more to be praised----------for His blessings, or for His forbearance in the face of our refusal to give thanks for them. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1142

Ayah of the Day:
Know that God enlivens the earth after its death; We have made the signs clear to you, so that you may understand. [57: 17]

Hadith of the Day:
Modesty which is praiseworthy, is a character trait that leads one to avoid that which is religiously reprehensible. [Bukhari]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Follow His commandments and bear every affliction with patience. Adhere consciously for this was the path chosen by the sages, the path that will lead you to the ultimate freedom. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

Guidance of the Day:
Promising to work out a particular relationship problem can transform a relationship. If we promise to stop getting angry or criticizing, or if we promise to stop taking someone else's lateness or silence as a personal attack, or if we promise to give more or to ask for more, we can truly alter our relationships with one another.

Likewise, we can have an impact on our work life by making promises to complete work or to start new projects or to behave in some new or more effective way. Making and keeping a promise in any area can enhance our daily lives immeasurably. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
A day will never be any more than what you make of it. Practice being a "doer." Take the time to practice the skills and abilities you want to attain. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. You are all creators. Be an artist and create something today. Whether it is physical or spiritual matters little, but the process of creating matters a lot.

Pearls of Wisdom....180

1. Only five pillars hold up the sky.

2. 'Our Lord! Grant us to deal with others on the basis of thankfulness to You.'

3. Love of saints is the proof of religion and religiosity.

4. Without determination there can be no miracles.

5. Good architecture is to promote thankfulness.

6. The Law upholds the Ummah better than the Ummah upholds the law.

7. The True King admits the beggar first---------Let's pray 'O Lord'.

8. Nothing is difficult except in our thoughts.

9. Faith is not faith unless it seeks understanding.

10. It takes courage to bear the consequences of cowardice. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1141

Ayah of the Day:
Has the time not come for those who believe that their hearts should humble themselves to remembrance of God and the truth that has come down, and that they should not be like those to whom scripture was given before but over a long period of time their hearts hardened and many of them became dissolute? [57: 16]

Hadith of the Day:
Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendents of Adam. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
A man of bad character punishes his own soul. [Imam Ghazali]

Guidance of the Day:
Specific promises that we keep can make a major difference in our feeling good about ourselves and our lives, for this is one way we can surely strengthen and support ourselves. Notice how much satisfaction we feel when we can commit to being on time or keep our word or when we stay on a diet or complete a piece of work. This holds true of any promises or commitments we make and keep.

Giving our word in any area of our life can make a real difference in how we feel about ourselves and about our lives. We can promise to take care of ourselves in someway-------dieting, exercise--------and thus enhance our lives. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Devotion is just the promptitude, fervor, affection, and ability which we have in the service of God: and there is a difference between a good man and a devout man; for he is a good man who keeps the commandments of God, although it be without great promptitude or fervor; but he is devout who not only observes them but does so willingly, promptly, and with good heart.

Why Our Dua's are not answered....

Source: An-Noor
Ibrahim Bin Adham was asked as to why our dua’s do not get accepted even though Allah Ta`ala has said, “And ask of me; I shall grant you…"

So Ibrahim Bin Adham answered:

Your dua’s do not get answered because your hearts are dead.

They said, ‘why are our hearts dead?’

He answered,because of 8 things….

1- You know the rights of Allah upon you but you do not fulfill them.

2- You read the Qur’an but you do not act on its commandments.

3- You claim that you love the Prophet (may peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) but you don’t follow his way.

4- You say we fear death, but you don’t prepare for it.

5- Allah says, Indeed shaytan is your enemy, so take him as your enemy…” but you obey him in committing sins and disobeying Allah.

6- You claim that you fear the hell fire but you have thrown yourselves therein.

7- You claim that you love paradise but you don’t make an effort for it.

8- When you get up from your beds in the morning, you throw your deficiencies behind your backs and involve yourselves with other peoples’ faults.
Thus you have angered your Lord, so why would He answer your prayers?
(Taken from: Ihya Ulum al-Din; Kitab Sharh `Aja’ib al-Qalb)

Pearls of Wisdom....179

1. In the measure that we accept prayer it is accepted by God.

2. Text without context is pretext.

3. The tawaf is about Ibrahim, the sa'ee is about Hajira, olny in Islam is a woman an initiator of a form of worship.

4. The hijab is indeed an amulet (ta'weez) which wards off the evil eye.

5. Guilt is a warning.

6. It's called the consumer society because it consumes us.

7. Islam is a hidden treasure to be known.

8. Courtesy and knowledge are like two hands washing each other.

9. Only in unity can suffering find no place.

10. Buying is more American than thinking. [Above quotes by Shaykh Abdul Hakeem Murad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1140

Ayahs of the Day:
Who will advance a good loan to God, who will double it for him, so he will have a generous reward? One day you will see the believing men and the believing women with their light streaming before them and by their right hands: "Good news for you today: a garden with streams flowing below, to abide in forever." That is the greater success. [57: 11,12]

Hadith of the Day:
O people spread greetings of peace, feed (the poor and needy), behave kindly toward your relatives, offer prayer when others are asleep, and (then) enter Paradise in peace.

Wise Quote of the Day:
When He gives He shows you His kindness; when He deprives, He shows you His power. And in all that, He is making Himself known to you and coming to you with His gentleness. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

Guidance of the Day:
Life would be more satisfying for most of us if it were supported by any purpose that we deem worhwhile. It usually doesn't work to have another person be our only purpose in life, but there are times when we may give all of our attention to a relative or friend in need.

When all of our energies are tied up with just one other person-----a spouse, child, or parent------we are apt to end up feeling depleted or deprived. Most of us need more in order to feel satisfied. Also, people are transitory, while a purpose, if large enough, can inspire us indefinitely. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Men who have attained things worth having in this world have worked while others idled, have preserved when others gave up in despair, have practiced early in life the valuable habits of self-denial, industry, and singleness of purpose. As a result, they enjoy in later life the success so often erroneously attributed to good luck.

Pearls of Wisdom....178

1. To blame others for our misfortunes is always a victory for the nafs.

2. We should not do what we like, but we should like what we should do.

3. True religion invites you to become better people. False religion tells us that this has already occurred.

4. Trying to be loved is not the best way to be loveable.

5. We need less self-righteousness and more self-knowledge.

6. Television is hellish vision because it robs us of the sense of truth.

7. It is better that the injustices of others stand than our own injustices should stand.

8. It is better to appreciate what you do not have than to have what you do not appreciate.

9. The greatest achievement of the ego is to make virtue unattractive.

10. Salat is the Zakat of time. [Above quotes by Abdul Hakim Murad].

LESSON OF THE DAY 1139

Ayahs of the Day:
So what prevents you from spending for the sake of God, when the inheritance of the heavens and the earth belongs to God? Those of you who contributed before victory and fought are not on the same level; they are greater in rank than those who contributed and fought afterwards. But God has promised fairness to each and every one; and God is fully aware of what you do. [57: 10]

Hadith of the Day:
A man has sinned enough if he neglected to feed those in need. [Fiqh us Sunna]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Faith is a natural state uniting the created to the Creator: to realize it means salvation, and to lack awareness of it spells disaster. [Imam Birgivi]

Guidance of the Day:
There are many kinds of purposes that can inspire our lives. A mother raising healthy, happy children has an involving purpose, as does a child completing a complex science project. A woman or man who runs or works out in a gym daily to keep fit or who operates an impeccable office are living from purpose.

The person who drives a bus load of handicapped children to school has as great a purpose as the person who manages to maintain a clean environment. Determined, conscious living that leads people to feel satisfied and enlivened by a job well done, whatever that job may be, is what it means to live from purpose. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
You can't always have everything, but you can make the best of what you have. Discontentment makes rich people poor, while contentment makes poor people rich. The secret of abundance is to stop focusing on what you do not have, and shift your consciousness to an appreciation to all that you are and all that you have.

Pearls of Wisdom....177

1. Speech is like an arrow, it is necessary to aim it by way of reflection before uttering anything.

2. Do not neglect the purpose of discourse, its time, its quality, its quantity, and its place.

3. Never scorn to profit by anyone, nor be stingy in profiting others.

4. Beware of covetousness, for it is ever present poverty.

5. People are in poverty because they fear poverty.

6. Whoever occupies himself with insignificant things, then important things will by pass him.

7. One should not engage in vain discourse that is of no benefit to one's religious or worldly affairs.

8. When a person's intelligence is complete, his speech becomes less.

9. Speech is a necessary evil, but silence is salvation----so when you have to talk, do not be prolific.

10. You will never once repent from your silence, but often times you will repent of your speech. [Above quotes by Imam al Zarnuji]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1138

Ayahs of the Day:
So what prevents you from believing in God, when the messenger invites you to believe in your Lord, and he has gotten your agreement, if you are faithful believers? God is the one who sends evident signs down to the servant of the divine, to bring you forth from the darknesses into the light; God is indeed kind to you, and merciful. [57: 8,9]

Hadith of the Day:
The dispensers of justice will be seated on pulpits of light beside God; (They are) those who do justice in their rulings, in matters relating to their families and all in that they undertake to do. [Muslim]

Wise Quotes of the Day:
Who ever hates his ego for Allah's sake, Allah will protect him from against what he hates. [Abu Bakr Siddiq radi Allah anhu]

Guidance of the Day:
If we are to live as designers instead of the victims of our lives, we must keep generating something to live for. What impelled us yesterday may not exactly fit today. We need to review and revise our commitments to keep life fresh, alive, spontaneous and satisfying since without purpose we may feel lost or despairing. Continually creating goals with more goals behind them enlivens us.

A purpose that is large enough can inspire us for an entire lifetime. An implicit problem here is that some people wait around endlessly for the "right" purpose to show up, and it doesn't. Purpose is something we have to generate for ourselves. Hence, we would be wise to simply make up a purpose from which to live, and then commit ourselves to it. Our purpose could be a big one: to end a war or hunger on the planet or to love every other being in our world. However, our purpose does not have to be a lofty one to be satisfying, for any new step can make a difference in regenerating our vitality and satisfaction. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings. Do not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness.

Pearls of Wisdom....176

1. He who keeps watch at night will rejoice in his heart during the day.

2. It is important to aspire to the highest level of learning, since man flies by his aspirations as a bird flies with its wings.

3. Small things are great in the eyes of the small person, and great things are small in the eyes of the great.

4. Do not make haste in your affairs, but proceed slowly with them; for nothing will straighten your stick like a slow fire.

5. Beware of laziness, for it is misfortune and a great calamity.

6. The ignorant are dead before their death, for the one who does not live by knowledge is dead.

7. The life of the heart is knowledge-------so seek it; and the death of the heart is ignorance-------so shun it.

8. He who takes up learning will never have his honor effaced.

9. The beginning and end of knowledge is happiness.

10. Beware of laziness in investigating the doubtful. [Above quotes by Imam al Zarnuji]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1137

Ayahs of the Day:

The rule of the heavens and the earth belongs to God, and matters depend on God. God introduces night into day, and day into night; and God knows what is in the hearts. Believe in God and the messenger of God, and spend of what We have made you inheritors to. For those of you who do have faith and expend, there is a great reward. [57: 6,7]

Hadith of the Day:

God and His angels, the dwellers of the heavens and of the earth, even an ant in its hole and fish (in the depth of the sea), invoke blessings on (a scholar) who teaches people goodness. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:

Surrender yourselves before God in the manner of the devout saints; then God will hold you just as dearly as He did the devout who went before you. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

Guidance of the Day:

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. Living based on a purpose is life-affirming and renewing. A purpose can help us find the courage to go on, no matter what the problems we confront, and the courage to combat despair and discouragement.

Any new step-----a new commitment, goal, hobby, friend, plan, or interest-----can make a difference and can reawaken us to a purposeful living apart from our pain. Thus actualizing a simple plan to learn a new subject or quit smoking or keep a journal or build a bookcase can turn our lives around. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:

Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book. He that won't be counseled can't be helped.

Pearls of Wisdom....175

1. Patience and perseverance largely comprise the foundation of all matters, but these two qualities are rare.

2. It is necessary for the pursuer of knowledge to be firm and exert patience with his teacher and his book so as to not abandon his studies incomplete.

3. The treasure of good bounty lies on the arches of calamities.

4. Do not inquire about a man, but observe his companion, for indeed one companion imitates the other.

5. How often through the corruption of another man is a pious man corrupted!

6. One does not acquire knowledge nor profit from it unless one holds knowledge in esteem and those who possess it.

7. The light of learning is increased by the light of purification of the heart.

8. All glory is attained by exertion, not by luck.

9. He who seeks pearls immerses himself in the sea. [Above quotes by Imam al Zarnuji]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1136

Ayah of the Day:
God is the one who created the heavens and the earth in six days, then mounted the throne. God knows what goes into the earth, and what emerges from it; and what descends from the sky and what rises to it. And God is with you wherever you are and sees whatever you are doing. [57: 4]

Hadith of the Day:
The scholars are the heirs of the Prophets. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
If you devote yourself to God in this world, He will admit you among His chosen servants in the hereafter. Such devotion, however, demands sacrifice and self-denial, the two instruments that make union with God possible. [Al-Hujwiri]

Guidance of the Day:
Engaging ourselves with other people's problems can free us from our concern with our own. We do not need to suffer twenty-four hours a day over any problems or upsets, not even over our most major tragedies. A most potent way to free ourselves of pain is to be fully engaged in giving to other people.

Because life hurts, we will always need to be able to heal from both physical and emotional pain, to recover our sense of ourselves at any given time, so that we can be fully engaged in life and continue to live with vitality and satisfaction. Service is one of the most effective strategies for feeling well and living well. Nothing makes us stronger than realizing we make a difference. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Let everyone try and find that as a result of daily prayer he adds something new to his life, something with which nothing can be compared. Prayer is a confession of one's own unworthiness and weakness. Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.

Pearls of Wisdom....174

1. Every sin is the result of a person's putting the desires of his soul above his love for Allah and His messenger. [Ibn Rajab]

2. Repentance is not simply a matter of stopping one's sins but it is to refrain in the most beautiful manner from sinning and to amend for one's deeds in the best way possible. [Al Raaghib al Isfahaani]

3. Haste in five things---------feeding one's guests; preparing for the burial; marrying a virgin; paying back a debt; and repenting a sin. [Hatim al Asamm]

4. Beware of bad company, a bad friend is as unreliable as a snake. [Shaykh Zulfiqar]

5. A man's religion is that of his intimates, so let each of you consider who he becomes intimate with. [al Hadith]

6. Whoever cares not where he obtains his living from, God cares not from which of the gates of Hell He will make him enter. [al Hadith]

7. Leave that which arouses suspicion for that which does not. [al Hadith]

8. Part of the excellences of the person's Islam is in leaving alone that which does not concern him. [al Hadith]

9. A Muslim is someone from whose tongue and hands Muslims are safe; and a Muhajir is someone who leaves behind what Allah has forbidden. [al Hadith]

10. He who believes in God and the Last Day, let him speak words of goodness or else remain silent. [al Hadith]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1135

Ayahs of the Day:
Everything in the heavens and the earth glorifies God, the almighty, the supremely wise, who gives life and causes death, and who is in control of every thing; the First and the Last, the Outward and the Inward. God knows everything. [57: 1,2,3]

Hadith of the Day:
O Allah, I seek refuge in You from knowledge which holds no benefit, from a heart which is not submissive and humble, from a soul which is never satisfied, and from a supplication which goes unanswered. [Ahmad]

Wise Quote of the Day:
It is impossible to know the reality of hypocrisy and see its hidden shades except for one who resolutely seeks sincerity. [Imam al-Shafii]

Guidance of the Day:
Recovering by contributing to others---is the surest means of healing ourselves. Every one of us cares that our life matters or makes some kind of difference, and we can insure that we make a difference by serving other people. Our lives then mean something. Nothing I know of makes a greater impact on our self-esteem than this. Contributing to other people is a potent secret for healing, feeling good about ourselves, and for having a life worth living.

Whether we give ourselves to individuals or to the world at large, in serving others we discover or recapture the best way we are. We experience our largeness, breadth, and depth, beyond our small concerns and complaints. Also, in a very practical sense, making ourselves available to assist others and having our attention off ourselves can generate change and growth and a sense of personal power and effectiveness within us. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness, to an opponent tolerance, to a friend your heart, to your child good example, to your father deference, to your mother a conduct that will make her proud of you, to yourself respect and to all men charity.

Pearls of Wisdom....173

1. Renew your wudu whenever you break it, for wudu is the weapon of the believer, and when the weapon is in evidence, the enemy (devil) dares not approach. [Abdullah ibn Alawi al Haddad]

2. He who is pleased with the Creator, depends not on the creation. [Abu Hazim Makki]

3. He who takes pride in his good deeds is in sin, and he who is ashamed of evil deeds is in obedience. [Imam Jafar al Sadiq]

4. Consider it near the day when this world will vanish and all that will remain will be the world to come. [Hasan al Basri]

5. Patience is of two kinds: first patience with trials and calamities; second patiently avoiding that which Allah has prohibited. [Hasan al Basri]

6. Paradise is not attained through outward deeds alone, rather it is attained through sincerity and intention. [Hasan al Basri]

7. The contented one is freed from dependence upon the creation. He who leaves his desires attains his freedom. [Hasan al Basri]

8. Satan need not misguide the one who runs after the world for he is already misguided. [Mohammad Wa'se]

9. The most difficult matter is that one watch over his tongue and speak ill of no one. [Mohammad Wa'se]

10. The heart which is free from rancor is pleased with his Lord. No happiness can be attained by the heart which is not happy with his Lord. [Habid Ajmi]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1134

Ayahs of the Day:
Now if he (the dying person) was one of the closest to God, there will be merciful rest and sweet sustenance, and a garden of happiness. And if he was one of the company of the right, there will be "peace to you" from the companions of the right. But if he was one of the wayward who repudiate truth as false, there will be a welcome of boiling water and burning in a blaze. This is the certain truth; so celebrate the name of your Lord, the Sublime. [56: 88 to 96]

Hadith of the Day:
If you see earthly passions being obeyed, niggardliness holding sway, this temporal world being given preference, and everyone admiring their own opinion, you should keep to your own private affair. [Tirmidhi & Abu Dawud]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Learn when to speak and when to keep quiet, consider the effects of your actions and words, and pray to your Lord to protect you from all that leads to faithlessness. [Imam Birgivi]

Guidance of the Day:
Our freedom from suffering would expand immeasurably if we would learn to live in a continuous state of forgiveness with ourselves and those around us. Since it is likely that we will always make mistakes, it would help for us to learn to quickly forgive and forget. How satisfying our relationships could be if we were always willing to forgive!

Mastering forgiveness takes awareness and time, even daily, to forgive everyone who comes to mind, past or present, and to forgive ourselves every mistake, flaw, grudge, guilty feeling, or negative thought. We can do it! We can remind ourselves by practicing saying words of forgiveness aloud and with feeling over and over, such as, "I forgive myself. I forgive others. I am forgiven." Remember, forgiveness is the most powerful tool we have for transforming ourselves and our lives. Many of us have experienced the kind of transformation. Let's forgive ourselves and everyone else around us for anything and everything, for therein lies the promise of a rich and satisfying life. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Be great in act, as you have been in thought. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul. The strength of the soul grows in proportion as you subdue the flesh. Laws control the lesser man, right conduct control the greater one.

Pearls of Wisdom....172

1. Your time is your life, and your life is your capital, it is the basis of your transactions (with God), and the means to attain everlasting felicity, in the proximity of God the Exalted. [Imam al Ghazali]

2. The attentiveness of a servant is equal to his love for his Lord. Love is consequent upon knowledge, as much as one grows more knowledgeable of Him, so shall he love Him more and worship Him more abundantly. [Imam Abdullah Ibn Alawi al Haddad]

3. A scrupulous person is most worshipful of people because those who eat things that are absolutely lawful cease to tire from worship, and those who don't tire from worship are more worshipful than those who do. [Abdul Wahab al Sharani]

4. Renunciation is a means of traveling to Allah and reaching Him, for there is no spiritual traveling of the heart that is attached to anything other than the Beloved. [Ibn Ajiba]

5. Scrupulousness is restraining oneself from anything whose end result may be blame worthy. [Ibn Ajiba]

6. Get as close to Allah as you can, and realize that you do not get closer to Him by anything that is more beloved to Him than His own speech--------the Holy Qur'an. [Khabaab ibn Arat radi Allah anhu]

7. If your hearts become pure, you will never have enough of the words of your Lord. [Othman radi Allah anhu]

8. The one who knows that he is a slave of Allah and that he shall return to Him, knows that he is, in fact, to be detained. The one who knows that he is to be detained knows that he is going to be asked---------about every thing he does. [Fudayl ibn Iyaadh]

9. Do good for the remainder of your life and you will be forgiven for what you did in the past. However, if you do evil in what remains of your life, you will be held responsible for what you did in the past and in the future. [Fudayl ibn Iyaad]

10. This worldly life is a deceiving form of enjoyment if it diverts one from seeking the Hereafter. However, if it calls a person to seeking Allah's pleasure and seeking the Hereafter, then it is an excellent means. [Sa'eed ibn Jubair]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1133

Ayahs of the Day:
I swear by the setting of the stars---and this is a tremendous oath, if you only knew----that this is a noble Recital, in a well-kept Book which none are to touch but those who are clean, a revelation from the Lord of the universe. So are you glossing over this message? And are you making your living by repudiating it? Then why when a person breathes his last while you are looking on----though We are closer to him than you, even if you do not see-----why then, if you are not under obligation, don't you revive him, if you are truthful? [56: 75 to 87]

Hadith of the Day:
Indeed the (earthly) world is cursed, cursed is everything therein except the remembrance of God and whatever is consistent therewith as well as the scholar and the student (of the sacred law) [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
The outward appearance of an angry person is ugly enough, yet his inner appearance is even uglier. [Abdul Khalil Shabrawi]

Guidance of the Day:
Ongoing forgiveness is a good habit to learn, but we may not know how to do so. Primarily, forgiveness takes the willingness to let go and forget for always. We need to be willing to let go of attitudes, opinions, and feelings instead of hanging on being "right." We need to stop being caught up in our own narrow perspective and have compassion. We may never "like" the deed that occurred, but we can learn to accept it.

Taking an honest look will probably reveal incidents or qualities in ourselves or others that we find difficult to accept or forgive. Usually we gloss over and ignore how unforgiving we can be, for lack of forgiveness can become an entrenched habit. Living in a state of forgiveness is rare for most of us, but it can be done. We will always have reactions to people and circumstances, but our power is in how quickly we can let go of these reactions. Learning to forgive ourselves and others ongoingly frees up our lives and relationships. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Is death the last sleep? No, it is the last awakening. If you expect death as a friend, prepare to entertain him; if as an enemy, prepare to overcome him.----Death has no advantage except when he comes as a stranger. Be a good cheer about death, and know this of a truth, that no evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.

Pearls of Wisdom....171

1. The night is long, so do not shorten it with (extra) sleep; and the day is bright, so do not obscure it with your sins. [Yahya ibn Mu'adh]

2. God will say to the people of Garden; "Enter the Garden through My mercy; dwell therein perpetually by your good intentions; and take your shares of it by your works. [Hasan al Basri]

3. Deeds without sincerity are like a traveler who carries in his water-jug dirt. The carrying of it burdens him and it brings no benefit. [Ibn al Qayyim]

4. Darkness is not dispelled by fighting it, but rather by spreading the light, when light comes out, darkness recedes. [Mufti Rafi Osmani]

5. The key to change is sincere, true repentance, to realize that the next life is better and everlasting. [Shaykh Faraz Rabbani]

6. The key to change is to take the means to distance oneself from the ways of harm, this requires seeking good company and leaving bad company. [Shaykh Faraz Rabbani]

7. The key to change is to busy oneself with good, wholesome activities and leaving harmful activities, and to keep turning to Allah through worship and yearning. [Shaykh Faraz Rabbani]

8. Stories are a soldier from the soldiers of Allah, with them Allah strengthens the hearts of His friends and chosen ones. [Shaykh al Jonayd]

9. The one who adorns his inward with vigilance and sincerity, God adorns his outward with striving and following the Sunnah. [Al Harith al Muhasibi]

10. There is no helper save God, no guide save the Messenger of God, no provision save taqwa, and no work save patience. [Sahl al Tustari]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1132

Ayahs of the Day:
Now do you see the water you drink? Do you make it shower from the clouds, or is it We who cause the showers? If We wish, We would make it bitter; so why don't you give thanks? Now do you see the fire you light? Do you make the tree that fuels it grow, or are We the grower? We have made it a reminder and a convenience for inhabitants of deserts. So celebrate the name of your Lord, the Sublime. [56: 68 to 74]

Hadith of the Day:
Indeed the angels lower there wings before the seeker of (sacred) knowledge. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Real faith is having complete trust in God. It is the belief in the wisdom which comes from the Unseen. Such certainty can only be attained through the knowledge that emerges with Divine help. [Al-Hujwiri]

Guidance of the Day:
Without forgiveness there is no peace. Although learning forgiveness may be awkward, it is worth it. Forgiveness affords us freedom, peace of mind, vitality, enthusiasm for life, and the ability to live and love wholeheartedly. However, because of our automatic self-righteousness and our holding on to grievances, we may need to learn to forgive over and over again. Life would be so much more satisfying if we could accept how imperfect all human beings are and allow for our mistakes, and even for our sometimes terrible mistakes.

Forgiveness demands a deep compassion for all that being human comprises. We pay a very high price, probably daily, for our lack of forgiveness. We may not notice how much our current relationships are colored by old events or people, or how cut off we are from our enthusiasm for life. The price we pay for having all our energies tied up in past grievances shows up in our lack of vitality, poor health, troubled relationships, discouragement, loneliness, and isolation from one another. Seeing the price we pay, is it ever worth it not to forgive? [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Those who never retract their opinion love themselves more than they love truth. Only fools and dead men don't change their mind. Fools won't. Dead men can't.

Pearls of Wisdom....170

1. Be joyous only for an increase in knowledge or in good works, for they are your two companions who will accompany you in your grave when your family, wealth, children, and friends stay behind. [Imam al Ghazali]

2. Every attribute that appears in the heart leaves traces on the limbs, and every action of the limbs can leave traces in the heart, so the relationship is reciprocal. [Zafar Othmani]

3. The quality of our supplication (dua) depends upon the purity of our hearts, for it is with our hearts that we connect to God. [Imam Mohammad Magid]

4. If you remember death and prepare for its coming, you will know endless joy when death arrives, whereas if you are complacent and procrastinate, death will come to you at an unforeseen moment and you will know regrets without end. [Imam al Ghazali]

5. Each of your breaths is a priceless jewel, can never be retrieved. Do not be like the deceived fools who are joyous because of an increase in their wealth while their life shortens. [Imama al Haddad]

6. The disobedience that begets humility and broken heartedness is better than the obedience that begets honor and pride. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

7. Whoever truly follow the Prophet (sws) do not have their own choice in matters. Rather, nothing stirs in their hearts except that which Allah and His messenger (sws) love. [Sahl al Tustari]

8. Be with the people in such a way that if you should die, they weep for you; and if you live, they long for you. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

9. If you do not believe that God can take you at this moment and make you one of His saintly believers (awliya), then you are ignorant of His power. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

10. Be not content with the stories of those who went before you----------go forth and create your own story. [Maulana Rumi]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1131

Ayahs of the Day:
Now do you see the seed you sow? Is it you who are making it grow, or are We the producer of growth? If We wished, We would make it disintegrate to dust, and you would be bewildered; "We are burdened with debt, but we are dispossessed." [ 56: 63 to 67]

Hadith of the Day:
Be keen to pursue that which is beneficial to you, rely upon God for aid, and be not helpless. [Muslim]

Wise Quote of the Day:
The religious traits of character cannot take firm root in the soul until it has grown accustomed to every good habits and renounced every evil one. [Imam Ghazali]

Guidance of the Day:
Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. The willingness to continuously forgive ourselves and others is a key source of aliveness in life, as well as a powerful route to not suffering. Unlike overlooking or condoning, forgiveness implies the need to accept often a shortcut to finishing our unfinished business with one another, to being complete and satisfied. To continually forgive is a beautiful gift-----may be the best gift-----to give ourselves and those around us.

Unfortunately, most of us opt to be "right" rather than to forgive. We bear grudges, hold on to past grievances, and criticize, attitudes which add misery, not joy, to our lives. Our vitality and contentment are limited to the degree that we do not ongoingly forgive. When we hold on to previous hurts, misfortunes, angers, or judgments, our attention and our energies are bound up in the past and today is clouded over; forgiveness allows us to release (or let go) and to complete (or put the past away). [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Faith means, not worrying. Faith is courage, it is creative, while despair is always destructive. He who has faith has an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness and assuring trust that all will come out well, even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.

Pearls of Wisdom....169

1. Man's fear of Allah is equal to the his knowledge of Him and his renouncing of this world is equal to his desire of the Hereafter. [Irahim al Ash'ath]

2. Whenever Allah gives a blessing to a servant, and then takes it away from him, and the servant patiently endures his loss, then He rewards him with a blessing which is better than the one He took away. [Omar bin Abdul Azeez]

3. It was not the Muslims that had made Islam great, it was Islam that had made the Muslims great. [Muhammad Asad]

4. Whoever desires Paradise proceeds towards goodness, and whoever fears Hell refrains from the impulses of passions. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

5. Whoever believes firmly in death, detests worldly life, and whoever recognizes the worldly life, the trials and tribulations of life become slight for him. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

6. Someone who seeks to travel the path of Allah should begin with a sound repentance from all the sins. [Ibn al Haddad]

7. The heart becomes sick as the body becomes sick, and its remedy is repentance (Tawba). [Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah]

8. The heart becomes rusty, and its clarity is obtained by remembrance (dhikr). [Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah]

9. The heart becomes naked as the body becomes naked, and its beautification is God consciousness (Taqwa). [Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah]

10. The heart becomes hungry and thirsty, and its food and drink are knowledge of the Divine, love of the Divine, dependence, repentance, and servitude. [Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah].

LESSON OF THE DAY 1130

Ayahs of the Day:
We created you, so why not acknowledge the truth: Do you see the seed you emit? Did you create it, or are We the creator? We have ordered death among you, and We will not be preempted in Our changing your images and Our resurrecting you in states you do not know. You already know the first creation, so why not take a lesson? [56: 57 to 62]

Hadith of the Day:
Protect yourselves from the earth for it is your mother and there is no one who does any act, good or evil, except that it will tell about it. [Tabarani]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Hidden creatures good and bad always touch the heart. The touch of the angel is inspiration; Satanic touches temptations untold. Tarry with patience until your confusion is resolved and you know whom you rejected and who became the leader of your heart. [Mawlana Rumi]

Guidance of the Day:
When we embrace fear, fear controls us. That's self-torture! Since we cannot eliminate fear from our lives, we need to have a successful relationship with fear. Most important is that we not let our fears dominate our actions, that we not be stopped by fear. The cure for fear is to push through the activity that frightens us, if we can. For we can discover that we can be afraid and do it anyway.

Pushing through fear can stretch us, expand us, and truly enhance our lives. Many of us have become successful public speakers, even though we were initially afraid to confront an audience. Relationships, job promotions, sports, or daring activities are all the more exciting when we supercede, not erase, our fears. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Don't panic. Problems are made to be solved. Life was made to be lived. Panic, not the task, is the enemy. Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. Courage is the mastery of fear.

Interview for the Muslim Examiner

Assalamu alaikum,

This is an article that was posted at the Muslim Examiner website about Lessons of the day, I thought you might be interested in reading, please check it out and check out the rest of the site.

JazakAllah Khair

Iffath

Pearls of Wisdom....168

1. A person is not a human being while his tendencies include self indulgence, covetousness, temper, and attacking other people. [Imam al Ghazali]

2. The Muslims have got Islam as a legacy, hence they fail to recognize its value. [Marmaduke Pickthall]

3. Islam is not just a religion, Islam is everything. [Yusuf Islam]

4. Sincerity {Ikhlas) is to forget the vision of the creation by constantly looking at the Creator. [Abu Othman]

5. Read and you shall only behold that the most logical of all answers are always right there before your very eyes. [Moez Mas'ud]

6. When you mention the faults of others, remember your own faults. [Ibn Abbas]

7. How many lessons there are! And how little we learn!. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

8. Whoever is ill-tempered disgraces his honor, religion, and generosity. [Ibrahim al Ash'ath]

9. Consider this life as something you have left, consider death as something you have tasted, and consider the Hereafter as a home you have visited. I swear by Allah all of these things will happen. [Ata al Khurrasani]

10. When you find yourself slipping, remember Allah and the Last Day. If you died this very moment, is this a state you would want to die in. [Shaykh Faraz Rabbani]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1129

Ayahs of the Day:
When the inevitable comes to pass, there will be none who deny its happening, humbling and exalting, when the earth is shaken with a shock, and the mountains are crushed, into scattered dust, you will be of three kinds: The company of the right side----what is the company of the right side? And the company of the left side-----what is the company of the left side? And those in the forefront will precede: they will be the favorites, in gardens of happiness. [56: 1 to 12]

Hadith of the Day:
A nation that discards Jihad, general calamities and hardships befall them. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
He who does not obey Him does not show Him gratitude. [Shaykh Abu Madyan]

Guidance of the Day:
Because complaining is so common among us, it is a self-torture of which we are usually unaware. So frequent and automatic are our objections to our lives that we do not notice that we are complaining about weather, the political situation, our bodies, each other, and endless other topics. Even though we may tune out or numb ourselves to our own and other people's objections, for many of us life is one big complaint.

Our objection to life may be valid. However, there are more satisfying ways of dealing with life than complaining. An effective alternative to consider is that we stop resisting life and accept things as they are, that we surrender to life. For instance, if the weather is hot, it is hot. No amount of complaining will alter that. If our partner is withdrawn right now, our partner is just withdrawn right now. Accepting, allowing life to be as it is, can afford us great peace of mind and ease of living, both the antidote for and the antithesis of self-torture. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned. Hope is a beacon that will guide us safely through the storm. In order to be realistic we must believe in miracles.

Pearls of Wisdom....167

1.If those who do not possess knowledge avoid the scholarly discussions, disagreements will end. [Imam al Ghazali]

2. Sky-scraping material achievements are of no value to the true Muslim if they hinder rather than help his spiritual growth. [Abu Muhammad Asad]

3. The primary meaning of the word Jihad is struggle or effort. The revelation is given, but those who follow it have to make it a constant effort, day by day, year after year, to put it into practice in a flawed and tragic world. [Karen Armstrong]

4. Allah's generosity is connected to gratitude, and gratitude is linked to increase in His generosity.
[Ali radi Allah anhu]

5. The generosity of Allah will not stop increasing unless the gratitude of the servant ceases. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

6. Be hard on yourself; easy on others. [Imam al Shafi'i]

7. Love your Lord by serving Him. For lovers are but servants of their Beloved. [A poet]

8. If knowledge had no other merit than to make the ignorant fear and respect you, and the scholars love and honor you, this would be a good enough reason to seek it, let alone its other merits in this world and the next. [Ibn Hizm]

9. Put aside your pride, set down your arrogance, and remember you grave. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

10. The life of this world and the hereafter, in the heart of a Believer are like the two scales of a balance, when one becomes heavier, the other becomes lighter. [Amr ibn Abdullah]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1128

Ayahs of the Day:
They will recline on carpets lined with silk brocade, and the fruit of the two gardens will be near at hand----then which of the blessings of your Lord will you deny? In them will be women who restrain their glances, who no previous man or sprite has deflowered----then which of the blessings of your Lord will you deny-----like rubies and pearls; then which of the blessings of your Lord will you deny? Is the reward for good anything but good? Then which of the blessings of your Lord will you deny? [55: 54 to 60]

Hadith of the Day:
Pay regular charity out of your property, for truly it is a purifier......... and be kind to your relatives, and acknowledge the rights of the poor, neighbors, and those in need who seek your help. [Fiqh us Sunna]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Lovers of the Truth do not notice people's faults, for their own failings blind them of those of others. They do not curse nor do they wish harm to anyone at all. [Shaykh Muzaffar Ozak]

Guidance of the Day:
We must be willing to forgive and forget, to let go of our pain and go on. This is where many of us are unpracticed, for we habitually carry everything that has happened to us around in an ever-present storage bin called "the story of our life." Nothing keeps pain alive more than remembering it, so learning to forgive and forget is essential. Remember, suffering is perpetuating the pain of the past and carrying it into the future.

We can commit ourselves not to suffer or not to agonize over a disappointment. We can commit to be satisfied with life or to be complete with whatever has occurred, to live effortlessly instead of struggling, to be free of worry or free of the past. This is clearly a potent means for shifting our attitudes or behaviors. Our promises give us power; they release us from the idea that we are victims of anything. The discipline is not in making the promise but in keeping it. We have to be vigilant. We have to remember our promise not to suffer, sometimes every day, no matter what is going on around us. [Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none. Getting to know yourself better takes courage. It is far easier to hide behind a mask than to see yourself as you really are. There are many who think they are perfect and need not change, who think they are the center of the universe, and they have a problem.

Pearls of Wisdom....166

1. The spiritual warrior is the one who breaks an idol, and the idol of each person is his ego. [Al Qushayri]

2. Every drop of sweat and every breath we take is life, if not taken for the sake of Allah, will lead to regret and sorrow on the Day of Judgment. [Ibn al Qayyim]

3. The Qur'an guides you to the recognition of your illness and their remedies. Your illness are your sins, and your medicine is seeking Allah's forgiveness. [Qatadah radi Allah anhu]

4. The essence of knowledge is to know what obedience and worship are. [Imam al Ghazali]

5. Be with people in such a way that if you die, they should weep for you, and if you live they should long for you. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

6. Whoever desires to purify his heart then let him prefer Allah to his desires. [Ibn al Qayyim]

7. What you love to have with you in the Hereafter you should advance today, and what you hate to have with you, you should abandon it today. [Salman ibn Dinar]

8. I looked at my friends, and I did not find a better friend than safeguarding my tongue. I thought about all the outfits, but I did not find a better outfit than piety. I thought of all types of wealth but did not find a better wealth than contentment. I thought of all types of good deeds but did not find a better deed than offering good advice. I looked at all types of sustenance, but did not find a better sustenance than patience. [Omar radi Allah anhu]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1127

Ayahs of the Day:
But for those who fear standing before their Lord there are two gardens-----now which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny----both containing all species-----now which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny-----in both are two springs flowing----now which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny----in both are every fruit, two pairs----now which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny? [55: 46 to53]

Hadith of the Day:
A servant of God will remain standing on the Day of Judgment until he is questioned about his time on earth, and how he spend it; about his knowledge and how he utilized it, about his wealth and from where he acquired it and in what he spent it, and about his body and how he used it. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Entertainment has become the opium of the masses. [Ibrahim Kreps]

Guidance of the Day:
A person who devotes himself to learning God's religion, God Almighty gives him sufficient care and provides for him in unexpected ways. It is essential in the search of knowledge to reduce one's attachment to worldly affairs as much as one can. If you do not keep your soul occupied with good, it will keep you occupied with evil.

It is said that whoever does good to others is rewarded because of his beneficence, while he who does evil, his evil deed suffices him as a punishment. Beware of hostile action, this will cover you with the shame and waste your time. You may protect yourself from every guile of your enemy, but when the enemy plots against you, do not plot against him. [Imam al Zarnuji---------The Method of Learning]

Food for Thought:
The great end of life is not knowledge but action. What it lies in our power to do; it lies in our power not to do. Be at war with your vices, at peace with you neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.

Pearls of Wisdom....165

1. The straight path is the shortest distance between two points. [Abdul Hakim Murad]

2. Without meaning (in life) there is only meanness. [Abdul Hakim Murad]

3. If men wish to draw near to God, they must speak well of all men, whether present or absent. [Abu Sa'id bin Abil Khair]

4. Do not dispute with anyone in any matter as far as possible; for in argument lies much harm and its evil is greater than its benefit. [Imam al Ghazali]

5. Sincere devotion (Ikhlas) also means forgetting to notice one's fellow creature, through paying constant attention to the Creator. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

6. You should reflect on God's complete awareness of you, and His seeing and knowing all about you. [Ibn Alawi al Haddad]

7. Know that hearing and sight are two open doors, whatever enters through them reaches the heart. [Ibn Alawi al Haddad]

8. Whoever turns to God by remembering Him frequently will eventually turn to Him in all his affairs. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

9. Whoever remembers death frequently will benefit in three ways---------he will hasten to repent; he will become content with what is sufficient; and he will become active in worship. [Shaykh al Daqaq]

10. Whoever forgets death will be punished in three ways----------he will delay in repentance; he will no longer be content with what is sufficient; and he will be lazy in worship. [Shaykh al Daqaq]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1126

Ayahs of the Day:
Now on that day no human and no sprite will be asked about his sin----then which of the powers of your Lord will you deny----the sinners will be known by their marks; and they will be seized by their forelocks and their feet----then which of the powers of your Lord will you deny? This is the hell that sinners deny; they will go round between it and boiling water; then which of the powers of your Lord will you deny? [55: 39 to 45]

Hadith of the Day:
Knowledge from which no benefit is derived is like a treasure out of which nothing is spent in the cause of Allah. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
If you devote yourself to God in this world, He will admit you among His chosen servants in the Hereafter. Such devotion, however, demands sacrifice and self-denial, the two instruments that make union with God possible. [Al-Hujwiri]

Guidance of the Day:
Among those things that bring about forgetfulness are wrong doings, harboring worries and anxieties over worldly matters, and being distracted by many occupations and attachments. Worldly anxieties create darkness in the heart, but concern for the Hereafter brings light into the heart. This light becomes apparent through prayer.

Anxiety for worldly affairs impedes one from doing good, while concern for the Hereafter incites one to do good, as does occupying oneself with prayer in a spirit of humility and presence of mind. [Imam al Zarnuji----------The Method of Learning]

Food for Thought:
Lost time is never found again. If time be of all things most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality. Leisure is the time for doing something useful. The mould's of a man's fortune is in his own hands.

Pearls of Wisdom....164

1. Anyone who makes the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) his rule in word and deed speaks with wisdom. [Othman al Hariri]

2. When a person conforms himself to the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), God illumines his heart with the light of His intimate knowledge. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

3. Prove the sincerity of your respect for the Qur'an by putting its teachings into practice, not by arguing about it. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

4. Taqwa is the foundation of all that is good, it is a source of wordly benefit, a source of wisdom and all kinds of knowledge, of purity of heart and of many secrets. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

5. Do not dispute anyone in any matter as far as possible. For in argumentation lies much harm and its evil is greater than its benefit. [Imam al Ghazali]

6. The religious traits of character cannot take firm root in the soul until it has grown accustomed to every good habit and renounced every evil one. [Imam al Ghazali]

7. Invocations are a barrier between the slave and the hellfire, if the remembrance is contineous and permanent then the barrier is good and solid, if not, it is fragile and torn. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

8. Until you annihilate your selfish lower self of desires and lusts through strict and sincere striving, your heart will never become illumined with the light of knowledge. [Imam al Ghazali]

9. The outward appearance of an angry person is ugly enough, yet his inner appearance is even uglier. [Abdul Khaliq al Shabrawi]

10. Try to gladden the hearts of believers in every possible way, as long as these ways are not sinful. [Imam al Haddad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1125

Ayahs of the Day:
O company of sprites and humans: if you can penetrate the ranges of the heavens and the earth, then go ahead. You cannot penetrate without authority. So which of the powers of your Lord do you deny? Flames of fire will be sent on you, and smoke; and you will not be able to defend yourselves; then which of the powers of your Lord will you deny? And when the sky splits apart and becomes rosy as rouge, then which of the powers of your Lord will you deny? [55: 33 to 38]

Hadith of the Day:
Call yourselves to account before you are called to account, and weigh up your deeds before they are weighed for you. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Knowledge and living according to our knowledge lead to a state of awe and fear of Allah, which is a defense against all evil within and without ourselves. [Imam Birgivi]

Guidance of the Day:
It is said that people are divided into the following--------a man, a half a man, and nothing. A man is one who is sound of judgment and also consults others. A half man is one who is sound of judgment but does not seek advice, or seeks advice but is not of sound judgment. One who is nothing is a person who is neither sound in judgment nor one who seeks advice. Seek advice in your affairs from those who are God fearing. No person ever perished from seeking advice. [Imam al Zarnuji------The Method of Learning]

Food for Thought:
There is a difference between happiness and wisdom, he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool. The doors of wisdom are never shut.

Pearls of Wisdom....163

1. When the believers hear the command of their Beloved they rejoice in recognizing the tremendous favor and honor of slavehood, and rush to obey. [Shaykh Faraz Rabbani]

2. The world is an abode of works; there are no rewards in it. The Hereafter is the abode of rewards, there are no works in it. So act in the abode of no rewards for the sake of the abode of no works. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

3. Prove the sincerity of your respect for the Qur'an by putting its teachings into practice, not by arguing about it. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

4. Taqwa is the foundation of all that is good, it is a source of wordly benefit, a source of wisdom and all kinds of knowledge, of purity of heart and of many secrets. [Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani]

5. Do not dispute anyone in any matter as far as possible. For in argumentation lies much harm and its evil is greater than its benefit. [Imam al Ghazali]

6. The religious traits of character cannot take firm root in the soul until it has grown accustomed to every good habit and renounced every evil one. [Imam al Ghazali]

7. Invocations are a barrier between the slave and the hellfire, if the remembrance is continuous and permanent then the barrier is good and solid, if not, it is fragile and torn. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

8. Until you annihilate your selfish lower self of desires and lusts through strict and sincere striving, your heart will never become illumined with the light of knowledge. [Imam al Ghazali]

9. The outward appearance of an angry person is ugly enough, yet his inner appearance is even uglier. [Abdul Khaliq la Shabrawi]

10. Try to gladden the hearts of believers in every possible way, as long as these ways are not sinful. [Imam al Haddad]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1124

Ayahs of the Day:
Every being on earth perishes, yet there remains the design of your Lord, sublime and honorable: so which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny? All things in the heavens and the earth ask of the One who's in charge every day------now which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny? We will soon attend to you, you who are heavy-handed------now which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny? [55: 26 to 32]

Hadith of the Day:
The astute is one who passes judgment on himself and works for what is after death, and the fool is one who pursues vain desires and accounts on God the Exalted to realize his wishes. [Tirmidhi]

Wise Quote of the Day:
No good deed is fruitless: work while yet there is time: for with judgment the door will be closed for repentance. [Abdullah Yusuf Ali]

Guidance of the Day:
Taking responsibility, taking ownership of our lives, is the powerful alternative to being a victim. This means allowing, accepting, and participating in what happens to us, rather than resisting life's events. From the vantage point of ownership, we can look for what we can learn, how we can grow, and how we can ultimately make our lives more rewarding as a result of any experience.

When we are living responsible, we can create value out of our experiences. Then an illness or the breakup of a relationship can be a useful stopping place to reexamine life, to weed out what is unimportant and to nurture that which has meaning to us. An accident could be a time for appreciating what we have and almost lost. A failure could be a chance to generate new goals or to develop more skills. Most important, instead of considering ourselves as victim of an accident or crisis, we could include it as one of the many experiences offered us in a full lifetime. [Judy Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
Is death the last sleep? No, it is the last and final awakening. When death, the great reconciler, has come, it is never our tenderness that we repent of, but our severity. When death comes to a man who has completed his mission. He has nothing to fear, nothing to dread.

Pearls of Wisdom....162

1. Worship has four characteristics: the fulfillment of pledges, observing the limits of the law, contentment with one's actual condition, and patience in the midst of loses. [Ibn Abbad]

2. Worship is a quality inherent in the servant, which prompts him to obey the Divine Commands, avoid what is forbidden, and be resigned to the Divine decrees. [Ibn Abbad]

3. You must understand that God more than substitutes for every transient thing. Indeed the one who finds God wants nothing else; but the one who loses Him possesses nothing. [Ibn Abbad]

4. Contentment is the widest door to God, the garden of this world, and the resting place for God's servants. [Ibn Abbad]

5. A person who renounces something for his Lord will be more than compensated with strong faith and the rewards of obedience to the Lord of the Universe. [Ibn Abbad]

6. Anyone who makes the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him) his rule in word and deed speaks with wisdom. [Othman al Hariri]

7. When one conforms himself to the examples of the Prophet (peace be upon him), God illumines his heart with the light of intimate knowledge. [Ibn Ata'Allah]

8. Learn from those who know more than you do and teach those who know less than you do. [Ibn Mas'ud radi Allah anhu]

9. Lead men to God and none other than Him; for anyone who leads you to this world has deceived you, and anyone who leads you to work alone makes you weary, and anyone who leads you to God has befriended you. [Ibn Abbad]

10. Wisdom is the lost property of the Believer, so take wisdom wherever you find it, even from a disbeliever. [Ali radi Allah anhu]

LESSON OF THE DAY 1123

Ayahs of the Day:
Lord of the two Easts and Lord of the two Wests-----which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny-----having loosed the two bodies of water to meet without overflowing a barrier between them----so which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny------from them come pearls and coral-----so which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny------Owner of the ships under sail over the sea, like mountains-----which of the blessings of your Lord do you deny? [55: 17 to 25]

Hadith of the Day:
Work for God in proportion to your need for Him, and work for the Fire in proportion to your ability to endure it. [Kanz ul ammal]

Wise Quote of the Day:
Do not dispute anyone in any matter as far as possible. For in argumentation lies much harm and its evil is greater than its benefit. [Imam Ghazali]

Guidance of the Day:
There is a way out. We can confront hurt and let it go. We can live full and intimate lives, allowing that we might be hurt occasionally. All it would take is for us to be able to say "Ouch!" or "That hurt!" to one another at appropriate moments, to express the pain and let it go. We do not have to suppress our feelings, for we can let them go more quickly. We cannot overcome the fact of hurt in life, and we can overcome our difficulties in coping with hurt-----if we are willing.

Knowing now that we have a choice about how we approach hurt and suffering, we will look next at what it takes to make such a choice. At this point we may feel stirred up or confused, for the idea that we have any choice over hurt and suffering may challenge lifelong beliefs. Many of us have inadvertently lived as victims of our circumstances and our feelings for most of our lives. We do not have to be victims any longer. [Judy Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Food for Thought:
It is man's duty to fight, but God to give success. Chance never helps those who do not help themselves. Go and wake up your luck. I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.