Sunday, March 17, 2019

Practical Advice on Parenting....

Dalia Magahed

I often get asked for advice about how to parent rebellious
teenagers by struggling parents. I'am usually like "please
let me know when you find out."

So what I'm about to share is from the deepest part of humility.
It's hard as hell. But there are a few thoughts on the matter,
things that have helped me and that I've observed in the lives
of others.

1. Know this: your kids are separate human beings, not a
reflection of you. They are not trophies. They cannot be
extensions of your ambitions, unfulfilled dreams or to make
up for what you failed to achieve. They don't exist to be
your fulfillment. They are servants of God. Allow them their
individual dreams, personalities, goals.

2. Even if they don't tell you, you are still their first and
biggest example. Be a person they can respect and
admire without being shamed into doing so. Work on
yourself so that the kind of man or woman you wish them
to grow up to be would look up to someone like you. Be
a role model. Be kind, generous and patient if that's what
you'd like for them. Call your parents. Cook for your sick
friend. They will do what you do, not what you say.

3. Humans have at least three essential needs: security,
belonging and purpose. They will find and fulfill these
needs, or numb the unfulfillment of them, one way or
another. If the home doesn't provide a safe space to be
who they are and be loved, they will find that elsewhere.
If the home and the mosque isn't a place of belonging,
they will find that elsewhere. If they have no sense of
purpose other than avoiding punishment, they will
search for it elsewhere or numb it's absence.

4. Your kids will likely disappoint you on occasion, or a
lot. Refer to point number one. You can do everything
perfectly and you still won't have perfect kids. It's not
your fault. Prophets had kids who rebelled. It doesn't
mean you failed. They are not an extension of you.
They have agency. We are only accountable for our
intentions and actions, not the way others behave,
even our kids. Don't indulge in self flagellation.

5. If your kids are perfect, praise the Lord, not yourself.
Don't take credit. Children are a gift, like health or wealth.
Those who say "it's because of my own effort" weren't
dealt kindly in the Quran. Don't feel superior to another
parent who is struggling anymore than you should look
down on a person with less money than you. God gives
to who He pleases. It's not a sign of your awesomeness.
It's a sign of His generosity.

Saturday, March 09, 2019

Lesson of the day 1421

Ayah of the Day 
When My servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed (close to them), I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on me. Let them also, with a will, listen to My call, and believe in Me. That they may walk in the right way. (2: 186)

Hadith of the Day
If you were to rely on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning hungry and return in the evening full. (Tirmidhi).

Wise Quote of the Day 
If someone's state does not lift you up, and his words do not lead you to Allah, then do not keep his company. (Ibn ata Illah)

Guidance of the Day 
Ramadan is a merciful portal of time that opens and then closes, and none of us know whether or not we will see another Ramadan. So seize the moment to gain God's mercy, forgiveness and salvation. There is no capital more worthy of our concern and effort than this.

The time between late afternoon and sunset is a special time for Dhikr. Asr time is the signaling of the end of another day we have been blessed to see, the sunset signifies the end of a life time. Ramadan is an exceptional opportunity to cleanse our hearts of the diseases of them. Recitation of the Quran during Ramadan is especially effective in reviving one's relationship with the book of God. (Purification of the heart)

Food for thought
The beauty of life does not depend on how happy we are, but how happy others can be because of us.

Saturday, March 02, 2019

Pearls of Wisdom 402

1. Try to gladden the hearts of believers in every possible way, as long as
these ways are not sinful.

2. A man of bad character punishes his own soul.

3. The straight path is the shortest distance between the two points.

4. To advice others is an easy matter, the difficulty is accepting advice, since it is bitter for those who follow their own inclinations and desires.

5. If men wish to draw near to God, they must seek Him in the hearts of the men. They should speak well of all men, whether present or absent.

6. Know that you should reflect on God's complete awareness of you, and His seeing and knowing all about you.

7. Islam will prevent us from sins, or sins will prevent us from Islam.

8. The spiritual warrior is the one who breaks an idol, and the idol of each person is his ego.

9. The lower self is greedy, teach it to be content.

10. Do not fix hopes on your health, and do not laugh away life. Remember how they walked and now their joints lie separately and the tongue with which they talked is eaten away by the worms.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim's practical advice....

This is one of the most beautiful and amazing advice by the great scholar Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah):

A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, and a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf. So look after yourself, protect yourself, nurture yourself and don't give life's events more than what they are really worth.

Know for certain that when you break no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated no one will give you victory except your determination. Your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility.

Do not look for your self-worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth within your conscience. If your conscience is at peace then you will ascend high and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you won't harm you.

Do not carry the worries of this life because this is for Allah. And do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah. And do not carry the anxiety for the future because it is in the hands of Allah.

Carry one thing: How to please Allah. Because if you please Him, He pleases you, fulfills you and enriches you.

Do not weep for a life that made your heart weep. Just say, "O Allah compensate me with good in this life and the hereafter."

Sadness departs with a Sajdah. Happiness comes with a sincere Du'a. Allah does not forget the good you do. Nor does He forget the good that you did to others and the pain you relieved them from. Nor will He forget the eye which was about to cry but you made it laugh.

Live your life with this principle:
Be good even if you don't receive good, not because of others' sake but because Allah loves those who do good.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Lesson of the day 1420

Ayah of the day
It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards east or west; but it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the last day and the angels and the book and the messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for him for your kin, for orphans, for needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves, to be steadfast in prayer and practice regular charity, to fulfill the contracts which you have made, and to be firm and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of the panic. Such are people of truth, the God fearing. (2:177)

Hadith of the Day 
Any one who shows the way to something good has the same reward as the person who does it. (Muslim)

Wise Quote of the Day 
Goodness of character was the attribute of the master of messengers, and was ever the most righteous action of the truthful saints. (Imam Ghazali)

Guidance of the Day 
Taking control of the desires defeats satan. Patience is the key to spiritual wayfaring. If we do not learn patience from the act of fasting, then we have missed something about this great rite of worship.

Scholars throughout the ages recommended that in order to get the most from Ramadan one should not engage in excessive speech,this is an Islamic ethic that should be practiced in general. But in Ramadan, it is especially advised to be vigilant about what we say, since higher fasting involves the tongue. Also it is important to utilize our time well. (Purification of the heart)

Food for thought
What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.
__._,_.___

Saturday, February 09, 2019

Pearls of Wisdom 421

1. When the inward is good the outward is also inevitably so, for the outward follows the inward,
whether for good or evil.

2. Prove the sincerity of your respect for the Qur'an by putting its teachings into practice, not by
arguing about it.

3. You must fill your time with worship so that no period of time elapses whether by night or by day,
without being used in some act of goodness.

4. Good character consists in three traits: avoiding that which is forbidden, seeking that which is
permitted, and being generous.

5. Whoever busies himself with that which does not concern him, then he misses out on much of
that which does concern him.

6. If we spend our time paying attention to the wisdom of our heart rather than the wisdom of our
head, we will benefit greatly.

7. Love is always the answer to every question and problem. We are here to love and be loved and
learn a few things in the process.

8. To begin anew, we must say good-bye to who we once were.

9. Have the courage to begin the new life that each day brings you. No matter what changes and
losses you have experienced, step back and see where you need to begin.

10. How do we find joy in our lives? Too often it comes at a significant price. We learn that we are
mortal and suddenly what used to seem important isn't. Things that used to bother us don't anymore.
What then becomes significant are the people who we love and who love us.

Saturday, February 02, 2019

Lessons to be learnt.....

Steve Gouves dies a billionaire, with a fortune of $ 7 billion, at the age of 56 from pancreatic cancer,
and here are some of his last words:

In other eyes, my life is the essence of success, but aside from work, I have a little joy, and in the end
wealth is just a fact of life to which I am accustomed.

At this moment, lying on the bed, sick and remembering all my life, I realize that all my recognition and wealth that I have is meaningless in the face of imminent death.

You can hire someone to drive a car for you, make money for you – but you can not rent someone to carry the disease for you. One can find material things, but there is one thing that can not be found when it is lost – “life”.

Treat yourself well, and cherish others. As we get older we are smarter, and we slowly realize that the watch is worth $ 30 or $ 300 – both of which show the same time.

Whether we carry a purse worth $ 30 or $ 300 – the amount of money in the wallets are the same.

Whether we drive a car worth $ 150,000, or a car worth $ 30,000 – the road and distance are the same, we reach the same destination.

If the house we live in is 300 square meters, or 3000 square meters – the loneliness is the same.

Your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you’re flying first class, or economy class – if the plane crashes, you crash with it.

So, I hope you understand that when you have friends or someone to talk to – this is true happiness!

Five Undeniable Facts-

1. Do not educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. – So when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price.

2. Eat your food as medicine, otherwise you will need to eat your medicine as food.

3. Whoever loves you will never leave you, even if he has 100 reasons to give up. He will always find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between being human and human being.

5. If you want to go fast – go alone! But if you want to go far – go together!

And in conclusion,

The six best doctors in the world.

1. Sunlight
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Diet
5. Self-confidence
6. Friends

Keep them in all stages of life and enjoy a healthy life.

“Love the people God sent you, one day he’ll need them back.”

๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™Something worth sharing!๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™