Keeping alive the Islamic tradition of scholarship, insight, and purification...one day at a time.
Monday, July 04, 2011
Raising Moral Children
1. Commit to Raising A Moral Child
How important is it for you to raise a moral child? It's a crucial question to ask, because research finds that parents who feel strongly about their kids turning out morally usually succeed because they committed themselves to that effort. If you really want to raise a moral child, then make a personal commitment to raise one.
2. Be a Strong Moral Example
Parents are their children's first and most powerful moral teachers, so make sure the moral behaviors your kids are picking up from you are ones that you want them to copy. Try to make your life a living example of good moral behavior for your child to see. Each day ask yourself: "If my child had only my behavior to watch, what example would he/she catch?" The answer is often quite telling.
3. Know Your Beliefs And Share Them
Before you can raise a moral child, you must be clear about what you believe in. Take time to think through your values then share them regularly with your child explaining why you feel the way you do. After all, your child will be hearing endless messages that counter your beliefs, so it's essential that he/she hears about your moral standards. TV shows, movies, newspapers, and literature are filled with moral issues, so use them as opportunities to discuss your beliefs with your child.
4. Use Teachable Moments
The best teaching moments aren't ones that are planned—they happen unexpectedly. Look for moral issues to talk about as they come up. Take advantage of those moments because they help your child develop solid moral beliefs that will help guide his behavior the rest of his life.
5. Use Discipline as a Moral Lesson
Effective discipline ensures that the child not only recognizes why her behavior was wrong but also knows what to do to make it right next time. Using the right kind of questions helps kids expand their ability to take another person's perspective and understand the consequences of their behavior. So help your child reflect: "Was that the right thing to do? What should I do next time?" That way your child learns from his mistakes and grows morally. Remember your ultimate goal is to wean your child from your guidance so he or she acts right on his or her own.
6. Expect Moral Behavior
Studies are very clear: kids who act morally have parents who expect them to do so. It sets a standard for your child's conduct and also lets her know in no uncertain terms what you value. Post your moral standards at home then consistently reinforce them until your child internalizes them so they become his or her rules, too.
7. Reflect on the Behaviors' Effects
Researchers tell us one of the best moral-building practices is to point out the impact of the child's behavior on the other person. Doing so enhances a child's moral growth: ("See, you made her cry") or highlight the victim's feeling ("Now he feels bad"). The trick is to help the child really imagine what it would be like to be in the victim's place so he or she will be more sensitive to how his or her behavior impacts others.
8. Reinforce Moral Behaviors
One of the simplest ways to help kids learn new behaviors is to reinforce them as they happen. So purposely catch your child acting morally and acknowledge his or her good behavior by describing what he or she did right and why you appreciate it.
9. Prioritize Morals Daily
Kids don't learn how to be moral from reading about it in textbooks but from doing good deeds. Encourage your child to lend a hand to make a difference in his world, and always help him or her recognize the positive effect the gesture had on the recipient. The real goal is for kids to become less and less dependent on adult guidance by incorporating moral principles into their daily lives and making them their own. That can happen only if parents emphasize the importance of the virtues over and over and their kids repeatedly practice those moral behaviors.
10. Incorporate the Golden Rule
Teach your child the Golden Rule that has guided many civilizations for centuries, "Treat others as you want to be treated." Remind him or her to ask himself before acting, Would I want someone to treat me like that? It helps him or her think about his behavior and its consequences on others. Make the rule become your family's over-arching moral principal
Posted by Mrs. Iffath Hasan at 12:17 PM
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