Wonderfully described definitions...

*CIGARETTE:*
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

*MARRIAGE:*
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master

*LECTURE:*
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes
of students
without passing through the minds of either

*CONFERENCE:* 
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

*COMPROMISE:*
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

*TEARS:*
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine
water-power!

*DICTIONARY:*
A place where divorce comes before marriage and success before work.

*CONFERENCE ROOM:*
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees
later on

*CLASSIC:*
A book which people praise, but never read

*SMILE:*
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

*ETC:* 
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

*COMMITTEE:* 
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together

*EXPERIENCE:*
The name men give to their Mistakes

*ATOM BOMB:* 
An invention to bring an end to all inventions

*DIPLOMAT:*
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
 forward to the trip

*OPPORTUNIST:*
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

*MISER:*
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

*FATHER:*
A banker provided by nature

*CRIMINAL:*
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

*BOSS:*
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

*POLITICIAN:* 
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
Later

*DOCTOR:* 
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!