The Foundation for Eliminating Disputes
Disputes, in whatever manner they appear, should be resolved immediately. Human life being what it is, there is no guarantee as to who will be carried into the grave first. At the occasion of death, friends, enemies, all gather to mourn anyway. It is best that one’s heart be cleansed of all grudges regarding all Muslims. Soothe another’s angry heart and see how tranquil life becomes. The weightiness in one’s own heart is removed.
Always act towards mending relationships. As a result, one will attain barakah in one’s time and provision.
The primary act which ends a dispute is admitting one’s fault. If it is your fault then admit it and take account of your faults. It is essential to recognize the excesses one has taken to transgress upon others. Ultimately, the greatest reality of life is recognition of one’s faults. The secret of all forms of betterment in life lies in this recognition, because man always errs. If he does not recognize his faults, then there is no other course for his betterment. Recognition is the door to all successes, but seldom it is that man is willing to subject himself to it. When such an occasion arises, it becomes a matter of ego. Instead of admitting his fault, he attempts to cover it up. The result is that this fault of his continues to grow unchecked.
Making Excuses and Reconciling
Regardless of whose fault it is, when a dispute occurs, you will always share its blame to a certain extent. This being the case, you should rise to the occasion and apologize for that which is of your own doing. Consequently, the one with whom your are disputing will soften his attitude towards you. You should always have a positive attitude towards others. Keep a goodly opinion regarding others. A misunderstanding should be clarified by discussing it as soon as possible.
Establish an attitude of selflessness and sacrifice. Save yourself from stubbornness and obstinacy. Suppress your anger. Adopt a manner which always seeks reconciliation. Pray for your friends, family, and those with whom you have disputes.
Shaytan struggles tirelessly to create disputes between Muslims. Truly the greatest weapon he wields to destroy this Ummah is to make Muslims fight each other over any excuse. Remember that non-Muslims CANNOT overcome Muslims under any circumstance. Thus, we are made to fight each other.
Leave behind obedience and slavery to Shaytan! Attain firmness in the virtues of admitting one’s faults, asking forgiveness, and forgiving!
Above and beyond this, strive to make peace between two Muslims, for this is a tremendous act of worship indeed!
By Muhammad Bashir Jumah
(An excerpt from his work in Urdu, The Journey to Success on the Road of Life)