Keeping alive the Islamic tradition of scholarship, insight, and purification...one day at a time.
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Reflections: Chasing the feeling of love....
Surely, it is during these intimate moments with the Divine that souls discover the true meaning of life and they are fueled to change, give back to others, and grow. When human hearts are sincerely tied to their Creator, they are deeply inspired to be the love that they crave to feel and to manifest the love that they long to show. The centuries sought ‘fountain of life’ that grants people eternal fulfilment, empowerment, and clarity isn’t an imaginary fairytale, but it is a reality that is only found when a person cultivates a strong relationship with Allah Most High. Indeed, the quality of a person’s life is often measured by the quality of their personal connection with their Creator.
When we first married our husbands, maybe we thought differently; we felt like we hit the jackpot, and that ‘feeling’ of being in love compelled us to behave differently and to perform with great potential. The ‘high’ encouraged us to act in noble ways or to say loving words without much thought or effort. Yet, for almost everyone on the face of this planet, that fantasy wave eventually crashes, and our hearts are stranded upon the lonely shore of real life once again.
However, in this beached moment, we still have a choice of where we will direct our marooned hearts. Undoubtedly, when we convince ourselves that we’re missing something, we will inevitably start searching for what will make us feel that ‘feeling’ once more. Some may get divorced and decide to look for the ‘feeling’ elsewhere. Some may stay in their marriages but devote their attention to their children, hoping to gain the ‘feeling’ through them. Some may hang onto their spouses, riding a rollercoaster of the ‘feeling’ on and off their time together. Whatever the option may be, when we chase the ‘feeling’ of love, our hearts will ultimately settle in the same place that we desperately try to avoid being in: the rock-bottom feeling of emptiness.
Instead of chasing the temporary, we must seek what is permanent and everlasting. Namely, we need to revive our marriages with a higher purpose – to make our marriages worship with Allah and not based on a bunch of feelings.
Allah says: Say, [O Muhammad], “If you should love Allah, then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (3:31)
The only way to truly make a Muslim marriage survive and transform into an everlasting bond is to focus our hearts on following the way of the Prophet ﷺ. How did he ﷺ act within times of disappointment? How did he ﷺ respond when challenged? How did he ﷺconsistently treat those in his household?
If our love batteries are dead, then we need to recharge them, but our power source must be the Divine.
Those who are enthused to act, speak, and live for Allah’s sake will always find something different in their marriages, and the love felt between each other’s hearts easily intensify and solidify inshaAllah. So don’t gauge the quality of your relationship by the strength of the ‘feeling’ because feelings come and go. Rather, base your marriage on something permanently substantial. Ask yourself if the way that you are in your marriage is pleasing to Allah Most High. Let this guiding principle be what regulates your love meter because Allah will place His blessing in it inshaAllah. Whenever you see it is at a low, find your focal point, turn to the Ka’ba, and reconnect with the Divine.
© TayyibaatWives, 2016.
Posted by Mrs. Iffath Hasan at 12:09 PM
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Hit the jackpot, it's so true, thank you for the write-up,
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